Saturday, February 28, 2009

Hurt

in retrospect, I reverse
going backwards and running over the pain
again and again
trying to put it out of it’s misery
still she comes to my mind
a friend I can’t shake
a friend who scarred my soul
and left me dangling from the edge
God, I miss her

she said that she hoped one day we could minister together
I just want to be friends
I’ll take what I can get
but right now all I get is
hurt

I poured out myself for her
I listened to her constant babbling
I fetched her everything she asked for
I listened to each recommended song
I helped her make the cards for cheap
she was cost conscious
she was argumentative
she desired to be free
she desired fulfillment

I’m not sure why she choose me
or maybe I chose her
or maybe God did this all for a reason
but if you are out there
and if you are reading this
I don’t know what I have done to experience this
hurt

I’m sorry is all I can say
I’m sorry for being who you needed
I’m sorry for being there
I’m sorry for going out of my way
for hurt

– Jason Kichline

Private Property

faint smell of moisture on the breeze
   beckons me
the wood opens pathways to mystery
   discovery
life and beauty from raw ground swelling
   compelling
nostrils flare to embrace sweetened scent
   natural consent

turning making way up a path revealed
   I'm appealed
to commune with land and streams afresh
   moments enmeshed
to become one, learning, discovering
   uncovering
the secrets you hold in forest keep
   buried deep

my journey forged of respect and purity
   love maturity
my gaze lowers from amazed surrounding
   astounding
to see a sign nailed rough to disdained tree
   I disagree
that life formed by God could considered be
   private property

– Jason Kichline

Friday, February 27, 2009

Rest

rest
dark calm of night descends
raising senses, lowered contends

silence
stark dawn free of voices
hovered fog, heightened choices

fear
blank emotions once again
hushed lovers, screaming end

defiance
standing firm with raised fist
solace found, torment missed

– Jason Kichline

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Watchmen

posted high atop walls, watchmen watch dutifully
    guarding inward
    observing outward

the keep within, that kept alive and beating
    subjects faced toward
    a royal throne upward

the mountains steep, a valley deepening
    silence remain outward
    as sentries sense inward

the city chaotic riots, peasants uprise in evening
    emotions straying wayward
    feelings falling forward

the confusion decrees, the heart, itself defeating
    archers aimed in, awkward
    self-destruction's steward

the world outside, evil forces, quiet regrouping
    cowardly cares passed outward
    ignorant gaze cast inward

the heart, my heart, a city, guarded deeply
    what command declared as word?
    decrees me, this man, onward?

– Jason Kichline

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Real

honest words are wisked along vapors of gathered love
a room of scattered smiles hears and hangs and laughs on each
honesty smiles back pleased with the sheer joy of a moment
raw and raptured sharing of a heart and life within reach
playing and singing with passion that true moments are made of

this moment, the reality of existance floods over my senses
she talks about experiences as babbling which can only be real
freely flowing profane, sharp words received with jubilant awe
because this woman is real, unreserved and a diva deserving deal
an honest girl in an unhonest world wraught from rusty fences

across the table I see women, the one I love and one just met
enchanted by the moment, swaying, singing, saying with silent lips
eyes glistening from moistened joy seeping from hot corners
shy, she smiles, caught in an intimate ecstacy sourced from sips
of drinks and love and moments real, right now and ones not yet

dim lights reveal truth as music wafts from this light on stage
common everyday blurs and cares once stirred, streak vanished
from this place, space and time replaced with truth, love and rhyme
allowed to exist as perfect reality punched through chaos banished
like perfect words written with honest pen on a blank heart's page

– Jason Kichline

Monday, February 23, 2009

Unrevealed

paths untraveled
   searching aside
unraveling outward
   touching inside
scanning refuse
   leering lost line
stranded abuse
   choking refine
intimate depths
   shallow scars sear
cauterizing emotion
   tormenting tear
undead rising
   immortal fear
powerless demons
   in eternal ethereal
seconds ticking
   tocking divine deal
as destiny unfolds
   in love's unreveal

– Jason Kichline

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Distance

a continuous call to share
but with no space between
to fit deep questions
just plain rooms painted

separation airs
uncomfortable scenes
to reap writ reflections
in pure mirrors tainted

no attention stares
shifting moments seem
to heap hip interactions
into people mere acquainted

time and distance glares
sifting sands dunes deem
that's it, a reconnection
is required, because this
feigned retraction ain't it

– Jason Kichline

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Finding Fatal Flaws

finding fatal flaws
   is there something wrong
   an inherit evil lurking
   hiding beneath surfaces
   behind what I can see

finding fatal flaws
   that cause friends to stumble
   whether an attribute of mine
   or an attribute of theirs
   or perhaps together as us

finding fatal flaws
   seems to favor combination
   a remnant of reaction
   unintended interaction
   founded faulty faction

finding fatal flaws
   is less about the state of me
   but more about the state of we
   for in the midst of two souls lapping
   appears the varmit requiring trapping

finding fatal flaws
   cannot be done alone
   by myself in silent search
   for a sin I should atone
   is futile in an empty church

finding fatal flaws
   is something we should do together
   under grace that calls us higher
   so we should not cease to gather
   and in imperfection never tire of

finding fatal flaws

– Jason Kichline

Friday, February 20, 2009

Advice

buzzing rattles me awaking
   a youth
   a greeting
   a question

glowing text beside the bed
cracking smiles from what is read
aware much more is to be said

fuzzing fingers answer aching
   a friend
   a welcome
   a word, advice

sending responses in my head
wisdom from life already tread
encouraging things she rather dread

was it really worth mistaking?
   a scene
   a goodbye
   a hypothetical

assuring her that what lies unread
is not condemned but loved instead
beyond the pain she may have bled

does she wrestle with forsaking?
   a teen
   a hello
   a possibility

excited about what awaits ahead
for her as cares of life are shed
and fear is ceremonially shred

instead, one choosing to be led
not by a past from which she fled
but within fabric of found wisdom's thread

– Jason Kichline

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Walking

life is a series of steps
some up
some down
some sideways
and sometimes
we get to take a walk

a walk with someone
beside us
cares enough
to share the steps
in the same direction

we step
they step
we turn
they turn
we speak
they speak

discovering hearts
walking in circles
finding dreams
walking in parks

life is a series of steps
some sad
some happy
most average
and sometimes
we get to choose the path
or at the very least
who we walk with

and if we allow
a Friend to walk between
He who is invisible
can oft times be seen
on the edges of the path
just shy of routine

and then God speaks
ice pelts
snow falls
rain pours
winds blow

washing away pride
cleansing our balking
humbling our domain
two children inside
laughing and walking
in pouring down rain

– Jason Kichline

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Water

elemental
   it's very presence
      is the only sign of life

so basic
   three atoms
      joined in tightest bond

so complex
   three states
      as infinite combinations

invisible
   but easily identified
transparent
   but reflecting of the truth
heavy
   yet it floats in the sky
passive
   yet it shapes the very earth

we need it
within one week
without it we wither

we abuse it
something so precious
treated with such distain

settling for cheap substitutes
when what we need is clear and pure
water

water is life
water is love
water wells up
water from the soul

love is like water
love is water

complex
   it takes many forms
   it weighs heavy in our hearts
   it carries us among the heavens
   it flows throughout our very being

simple
   calm, we see our perfect reflection
   raging, it tears down strongholds
   patient, it crumbles mountains
   hurried, it cleanses all impurities

it falls from above
it rises from below
it wells up within
it settles as dew

we are carriers
we are it's keeper
we are it's guardian
we are it's namesake
we are nearly all water

we are comprised of all love

it is how we are designed
   made from dirt and water
      formed by love itself and life
   breathed of God with one purpose
      to love God and others as ourselves

water has one purpose
   to bring life wherever it is found
      it does so with grace
      it does so with beauty
      it does so with diversity

we are called to do the same
   to flow into every place
   to permeate the driest plain
   to fall as dew on fields of grass
   to flow like rivers into many towns

love has one purpose
   to bring life wherever it is found
      to do so with grace
      to do so with beauty
      to do so with diversity

physically
   water is the only sign of life
spiritually
   love is the only sign of life

– Jason Kichline

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Primacy

she lies next to me
the only person I want so close
because she accepts all of me
all my weakness free to expose

but love wells up inside
for a world I am called to reach
I don't want that to subside
the lesson that God came to teach

seeing other's hurt and pain
drives me towards them instead
blindly I love without restraint
because I believe in what Jesus said

this love conflicts with social norms
to love God and others above your wife
but the Word of God does not conform
to what we deem abundant life

the only woman I ever wed
lies beautiful beside me in bed
yet I need her closer as I'm led
to love all overflowing in His stead

– Jason Kichline

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sleeplessness

the lights are out
and everyone is home
my thoughts infused
in a chemical roam

caffeine gives a shout
and dreams of music come
eyes closed, mind enthused
fading in and out to the hum

awake in slumber drought
scared I'll be too numb
to heed Your word throughout
members comprise of my sum

titles are writing in doubt
false that I'll become
screaming in the doubt
wooden gaze to succumb

sit here in my bed and pout
everyday nature glum
work of the Spirit to tout
from heaven block we're from

take to heart my rule of clout
children receiving rejection come
forcing a poem to springtime sprout
to place the chaos into one
and determine what my life's about

– Jason Kichline

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day

long legs cross on an empty bed
feet tangled within a comforter
tossed and scattered in restlessness
smooth legs and pure skin
fresh knees bend to contain
questions about her life
deep empty thoughts alone
the lonely ones that linger
longing to set a date in stone
belonging to another on her finger
the complexity of a girl's dream
buried in chocolate brownie ice cream
wearing her favorite old soften t-shirt
hung stretched like a short skirt
unmentionables hidden heaving beneath
wrapped treasures hoped mentionable
to someone special, some day, soon
her phone hangs silent, laying for peers
old movies about love playing out fears
hopes of core union betraying her years
kept emotions now displaying as tears
on Valentine's Day

– Jason Kichline

Dark Puddles

dark puddles pool in eyes
   below water falls of hopes
failing dreams
   trashing
      crashing
         dashing
endlessly on rocks
   hard and unmoving

she stretches a smile
   over her fragile frame
like blank canvas
   before a blind man
      with no paintbrushes
calm and quiet
   a good wife
      submitting
what she learned
   what she earned
      what she yearned
        for what's expected

but unexpectedly
   among these steps
      among these promises
         among these perfections
hot tears roll
   over skin cold
      feeling so alone
her soul creaking
   her mind freaking
      her heart seeking
a way
   an escape
      an undo button

does anyone see?
   does someone care?
      is an answer there?

into her eyes I must peer
   for in good eyes a soul may be
but her solution is not here
   though love flows, it can't be me
but salvation is near
   to those who believe
   to those who receive
   to those who conceive

fruit of the Spirit
   in unfettered bloom
within the garden
   of her whetted womb

– Jason Kichline

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Waters

silent forest deep
the parched evaporates
soil dry sand and low
heaves toward life again

the moisture seeps
it falls from heaven above
and draws from ground below
pulled by gravity therein

the earthen keep
as a bowl to hold thereof
waters refreshed to flow
slow to fill within

wooded hills weep
springs in numbers great
bubble ripe relief and sigh
allowing overflow to begin

surrounded by steep
cliffs, shifts of the landscape
as streams of life grow
filling what has been

rushing waters leap
desperate to wash with love
eroding harsh hardness slow
persistent as the wind

springs once fast asleep
now flood the vast plateau
the destructive fluid power of
collective love of Christ within

against all stones strong in sins
love over time as erosion wins

– Jason Kichline

Friday, February 13, 2009

Old For New

she handed me a device encased in black
and demanded that I should take a look
filled with things she didn't want back
but unable to remove thoughts mistook

likewise ideas could not be contained
upon the space of wrong write protection
no deleting of memories once pained
no saving changes to bring correction

reading alone, hopes within space
damaged perhaps from past abuse
I search the surface and with my grace
probed into her to find the use

she gave me once her broken dreams
and try as I might to make things new
the damage too deep was what it seems
no matter what her mind would rather construe

I now hold in my hands what she gave to me
keeping safe old remnants of bitter bits imbue
and bought instead for her in love so free
a gift of pure memories truly brand new
to demonstrate a new creation formed by You

– Jason Kichline

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Drawing

it's only natural to draw a line
the ancient ones that in their youth
with a stick in the sand
and a swipe of the hand

we draw to decide what is mine
what is yours and what is truth
a human instinct to know right
from wrong and left from right

we draw the law to which we bind
society's eye for eye, tooth for tooth
to justify a retalitory fight
and to have and to hold their sight and bite

but a line in Love we do not find
ripped naked from perfect pleasure's pursuit
stood she exposed of desires trite
stood as darkness amidst the light

men questioned Him to define the crime
an offense to them impossible to refute
could this woman leave with mere contrite?
how will the teacher find dispute?
what scripture could this man recite?

He did not pause in human repute
for the Author returned to earth to write
Jesus bent down and with His hand
started drawing circles in the sand

– Jason Kichline

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Reality

distance fills their eyes as they are led
sitting at a plastic folding table
papers in hand to complete

strangers surround waiting to be fed
those struggling but still yet unable
to make the tired ends meet

hacking coughs echo in sterile rooms
the sounds of sickness and despair
hang as low as dreams and hope

as she fills out the form, reality looms
the pressure of life too much to bear
driven to this place to cope

a smiling volunteer sits down to explain
and looking in the eyes of this anguished mother
speaks the truth about this new way

her ears accept, but her eyes reject, react in pain
and suddenly her strength is dashed and smothered
pinned down beneath these options weighed

a husband's calm hand stretches to console
these sobs of reality and humiliating lot
and the nice lady continues to soothe

she says these things happen out of our control
and together we help all those distraught
to regain a life we didn't choose

"thank you" she overly repeats in gratitude
as her son plays cards with sickened fate
and the two hold each other and nervously wait

I excuse myself, my inner attitude
for I am unable to know or truly relate
to a couple found in such abased estate

for I am not used to such formality
established to aid this harsh reality

– Jason Kichline

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

He Quivers

he quivers
   heart fluttering over ached acceptance
that he would possibly choose him
   and confuse him with sweet repentance
      but the secret would be to much to bear
         could his heart contain the romance?
if not what then?
   would it be worth the risk?
      this final upended chance?
he withdraws
   desperate to unite
      unsure if this knot in his body should be untied
         or remain tangled in a lifelong torment
his heart longs to please his lover
   his mouth sings songs to cover
      to mask the exclaim
         to the world over
the freedom of joy and love
   and loss of boyhood shame
he in his lover
   and his lover in him
and call his name
   as one closer than a brother
to share his life completely with another
   would this really risk damnation of eternal fire
to quench the flame burning in his flesh, his mind
   and fulfill for a day this deep dark desire
   and fornicative faction of skin enmeshed, entwined
   and for once receive in truth and honor,
      afresh and blind?
he delivers instead
   lonely in a room
   singing a tired tune
   longing for one day soon
      that may never come
his prince charming
   should ride into town unharming
   but could possibly be too disarming
   and would definitely be too alarming
      but he so badly wants to succumb
he shivers cold instead
   his passion for him, his lover
      made numb and dead

– Jason Kichline

Trauma

spelled in letters of a changing pen
we wonder when the sorrows will end
as we borrow burdens and backwards bend
learning news from ears listened as we lend

a mother's soul tears in realized fear
when her child bore for near half a year
yields a womb of life, normal seasonal cheer
into sealed tomb of strife unreasonably austere

or a child's life calm and simple preferred
becomes complex beyond a logical word
as she stands against an insanity inferred
and finds her hope lost beyond a hope deferred

we are witness to pain as it echos on
heard as melancholic tones carried upon
the winds of time that usher breaking dawn
offered as a dirge of trauma freshly foregone

– Jason Kichline

Monday, February 9, 2009

Ebony

dark and deeper
her beauty exudes raw rarity
hardened grains of exotic clarity
hewn from a solid earthen core
her tormented toil hides her wonder

small and delicate forms
fine arts carved in time's temerity
musical instrument aesthetic polarity
whittled by hands rubbed raw and sore
her weathered creativity within her storms

pure, precious and lovely
her life fraught from spiraled self shame
subtle hardened character becomes her name
finely polished by divine hands into something more
His perfect joy, a masterpiece perfected in Ebony

– Jason Kichline

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Captive

struggles within live
my mind held captive, suspended
blind I paw at intended dark
fingers feeling, fumbling for truth

conflict arises
my heart denies this, beating
kindness I saw in fleeting remark
thoughts reeling, rumbling since youth

prideful offenses
slaps my faith and wrenches, stinging
fruit of the Spirit, my all bringing, works
manmade preserves with artifical flavor

boyhood foolishness
grace granted for childishness, hinging
hope of eternity on His call, clinging
dissuade deserves, demands, crucial favor

what wells up within
incites actions without
testing approves therein
what the emotion's about
seperating sanctity from sin

– Jason Kichline

Saturday, February 7, 2009

It Is

Is it really your Word
   that I hear from heaven with visions alive?
Is it really your grace
   that I feel flowing forgiveness that finally revives?
Isn't this all somewhat absurd
   that I dance before a throne in an empty room?
Isn't it odd that I can taste
   that I see sweet glory chase away bitter gloom?
Is it God who comes to me here and lives?
   It is.

– Jason Kichline

Friday, February 6, 2009

Song for a Friend

Verse 1
I've been waiting for this day
   to see you once again, your smile
within my heart I pray
   to sit and love and laugh a while

Bridge
I wish I understood
   why I feel we've been friends forever
should it feel this good?
   to be close to the ones You send together?

Chorus
You make me want to sing
You make me want to bring
   my sacrifice of praise before You
You make me want to sing
   with all I've been created to do

my lyrics flow anew
   my voice yearning for a tune
to raise a heart that's true
   to lift my life song all to You

Verse 2
I long to walk your way
   wisdom and grace proceed your style
A song you sing each day
   melody that brings my soul revival

Verse 3
The times we've been away
   I've done this on my own denial
I wish that you could stay
   and learn side by side another mile

– Jason Kichline

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Containment

virtually indestructible; allowing no escape
   for in the crest of strength lies languish it's wake

protection sealed against the world
   perfection concealed for what hides within hurled

colored crimson capped in gold
   holding tightly a value, that which we behold

liquid life is contained within
   that quenches strife and nourishes skin

quenching cracked and broken lips
   wrenching lacked and spoken scripts

providing strength and healing power
   in the cold and dry length of reeling hour

sipping solitary, waiting for you
   with lips glistened and moistened,
      longing to be listened and hoisted,

back to historic heights of honesty true

– Jeannine Burkholder and Jason Kichline

Salesman

leaning upon displaying designs
   with signs of sales on rickety racks
his eyes peruse and peer inside
   perceiving the person and what she lacks

his aging frame and spreading form
   a humble housing for insightful inform
that moment mustered in random reform
   as we watched an agile actor perform

but tonight he turned from his standard spiel
   selling instead what we deeply feel
recounting his life as hard and alone
   one for which he eternally aches to atone

he did not coddle her heart, but connected in part
   with a slap in the face of real experience, impart
he sold from his pain with nothing to lose
   nothing to gain except to help others choose
a better path in this journey of life we bemuse
   to avoid the way he has walked
      in scuffed, worn, borrowed shoes

– Jason Kichline

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Coins

coins scattered upon an earthly table
some shimmering and others dull
an elderly man, both wise and able
ushered me over with a beckoned call

his fingers moved the coins around
a table of antique wooden patterns
etched within the top was found
the globe spun upon our destined turns

some coins were small, but most were large
glowing bright in bronze and gold
random forms and shapes took charge
each representing nations controlled

his fingers moved, quick, swift and sure
pushing wealth at will among
places of prosper, to those more obscure
weening worldly wisdom as he sung

he shuffled then our hopes and dreams
and picked one up and held it gently
it shone brightly in the sun it seems
then he hid it up his sleeve intently

his fingers flared, eyes fixed on mine
and as he stared, he checked the time
and with his hand, reached up behind
and with command, repeating his mind

that men still falter from feeble fears
not trusting God despite our years
that sometimes when money disappears
it is right before it comes out our ears

– Jason Kichline

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Radio

nobody notices
   my new transistor radio
it's old actually
   and has knobs of chrome
   and faux wood paneling
   and a bent telescopic antenna
   and little custom labels printed up
      to indicate where the volume
      and channel select is located

the radio rests
   beside my pillow
playing untuned songs of static
   and I hear voices across the void
   and I hold it in my hands
   and I turn the knobs
   and I try to listen harder
      struggling to understand
      unclear tattered sobs employed
      realizing just how easily
      this fuzzy signal can be lost

the radio grips me
   as I hold it in my hands
my head bowed tuning
   to the channels I adore
   to souls beautiful and aching
   to lives forgiven and forsaking
   to songs playing through noise
      staying up all night waking
      listening to the pains and joys
      cries of the heart repeated before
      on my ancient radio

and I listen daily with glee
   simply because my father
      who is above
gave this treasure to me
   an unfashionable receiver
      of love

– Jason Kichline

Monday, February 2, 2009

Victory

the taste of victory is sweetly savored
drawn from depths of anguished yearning
the haste of history heeds flight favoring
donned with glory of tidal turning

crashed upon the sands of timing
beaten shores of chances churning
dashed upon horizons hiding
sweetened orbs of aromatic burning

unequalled heights of hectic ecstasy
arise on airs of energetic earning
tears that are torn from tattered tenacity
loom languished over lower learning

veering victory from vanquished spurning

– Jason Kichline

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Silence

sullen silence enshrouds
draping deafened ears
screaming unheard cheers
into empty nulling clouds
of moist steam-filled words
through blind faith uttered

it's been like this for years
feelings frequently hurt
dealings to quick to avert
capturing countless tears
with a mother's tender hand
the other busy to understand

tonight the differences diffused
laughter echoed through the night
smiles warmed my placid sight
as three girls giggling, amused
shared their longing to belong
in sweet, silent, unsung song

I heard it clear and loud
spoken from eyes blue as oceans
broken from rosy pink emotions
desperate to speak, I now vowed
to learn this lifeful language, to know
to yearn to watch fresh faces glow

Jason Kichline